Monday, 28 May 2007

I'm sick...for real...

Hey you all...I'm not feeling so good right now "What else is new?" you might think...no but this time I'm sick for real...I have tonsillitis...and it hurts...plus that I'm not feeling so good from other reasons as well..."See..." yeah yeah...you're right...but the main hurting thing is the tonsillitis right now... hahahaha...and you know when one is sick and single one really feels even more single than ever before...because don't we all like someone to take care of things when we are sick? But when you're single you don't have that one there for you....you have to take care of everything yourself...and it's even harder if you're a single mom because then you have to take care of your child/ren too no matter how sick you are...doesn't life really suck? Luckily for me I don't get sick that very often...although I have actually had tonsillitis once this year already...back in January...but before that I can't really remember when I had it the last time...but now I got it again and there's nothing I can do about it really...I have to get some penicillin and hopefully will I get better after that...
But there's no penicillin for the ache in my heart...that one will never go away I believe...it's too deep... :( even if it might get a little bit better it will never go away completely...because I have found the one that matches me...even though he doesn't see it as clearly as I do...but for some people it takes a little bit longer to realise things...and sometimes you even have to give them really obvious hints in order for them to get it at all...but that's ok...I can do that...as long as he gets it in the end...although then it might be too late....but on the other hand....I know that he will never leave his gf...he thinks that she is the best thing for him and that they have a rich life together...but since he has low self-esteem it's hard to make him see that there are other things out there...things that might even be better for him...things like me... :) ...hahaha...nah but really I so would like to get the chance to show him how a life with me would be...sure I'm not saying that it would be all peaches and cream all the time but it wouldn't be hell either...that much I believe in me and I know how I work...and I know a life with me wouldn't be boring...I'm not boring... :) ...see... there's that self-confident that I need so badly...hahaha....it shones through every now and then...
Well well...he will probably never see it my way anyway so...:( ...and now I have to lie down for a moment to rest some before I have to go to the doctor...
So to all of you, hope you'll have a great life with lots of love and I hope you'll never get tonsillitis...bye for now....

oh and...puss puss p... you're in my thoughts every moment there is...

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