Ok…so another day have passed…and I’m still all alone…oh well…I have been alone for rather many years now so actually it’s nothing new really…although if you get a taste of togetherness and then have it taken away from you…it kinda hurt some and you feel like you’re back on square one again…even though it’s not so…you’re still on the same square just little bit lonelier than before…
Anyway…today I called Him…but I send him an sms before and asked if it was ok to call him…aren’t I considerate so say? …no, I’m stupid that’s what I am…but hey someone has to be that too…:) anyway…I asked him if he didn’t want to spend a little time with me soon…I mean we are suppose to be friends so…I know I know…that might not be such a good idea…but you know what…I miss him…I really do miss him…I miss talking to him…I miss knowing he’s there…I miss getting his sms…and the hardest part is to accept that that will never happen again…and that makes me miss him even more…
So… I might be a little stupid…but right now…I think I’m going to be that…you’ll learn from your mistakes they say…and I really do hope that it will be a good lesson too…I need to come out of this much wiser than I was when I entered…and hopefully I will…but I still want him to spend time with me…I want him to wanting to spend time with me…I want him to miss me…and that is even harder…because I’m sure of that he’s not doing that… :(…I even wonder if I ever cross his mind…I’m not so sure about that either…
Ok…so we weren’t together for that long…but still long enough to make an impression…or so I hoped that I had…my friends always says that I make an impression the first time one meets me…one will remember me they say…and actually I think there is some truth to it…but…perhaps this time I failed…it didn’t last and I’m fading away…sad but true…so that’s why I need to hold on to that last straw of grass…so that I will be there…I the corner of his eye…always reminding him…and just be his friend…a really good friend…I’m the best friend there is…hahaha…yup that’s me…the constant friend…always a friend never a girlfriend…
Oh well…time to hit the sack…so to everyone that have someone…hold on to them…because you never know when a little bitchy ex will come and ruin your chances…
Bye now…
Och till dig lilla gubben…ja för för mig är du fortfarande lilla gubben…massor av kramar i natten…
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