Over the mountain and far away...

Ok...so I'm still sick...but a little bit better though...now it's just my voice that is all cracked up...and I cough a lot...and I feel alone...:(
It's weird actually...I love talking to Him and yet after each time I talk to him I end up feeling even more alone...I just long for him so damn much...I just want to be in his arms....want him to hold me and hug me...and just love me...and eventhough that have happened before...at least the holding and hugging part...I can't be sure of that it will ever happen again...and that feels so sad...almost scary actually...since being in his arms feels so good...so safe...and I so wish that they could be mine...but they'll probably never be mine so I should just stop thinking like that really...but it's hard...
And right now I also long for hearing his voice...I want him to call me...just because he wants to talk to me....like he use to do alot before...but not so much anymore...and I know, I know....he can't do it so much since she is so jealous...but come on...he do leave the house pretty much every day...so some time there must be to just give me a call....or if not that then at least send me an sms telling me that he thinks about me or something....
I wonder how he would feel if I would meet someone else...I know he says that I should really so that I can be happy...he just fails to see that I want to be happy with him...so one minute he wants me to find someone else just to say in the next that he wouldn't like it if I did...hmm...I know, I know...he has no say in it...since he's taken...and I know that but still....but as they say (in swedish anyway) : "You don't know what you have until you lose it..." and then unfortunately it's usually too late so...he will probably realise that....later and then perhaps regret it...or he will never realise it and still go on thinking that he is in a full and rich relationship...and that it can't get any better... hmm.....perhaps I just beleive too much in me or there actually is a small possiblity that I might be right...which I believe though....ok so I don't know her...and I only know what he tells me...and what he don't tell me...and I might be wrong about the whole thing but actually their relationship doesn't sound too healty....that much I can read between the lines....and that's why I feel that I might be really good for him...or to be correct I know I would be good for him...just too bad that he doesn't see it... :(
I just hope that he would see what a good and wonderful person he is and truly believe it too...as I do....because he really is...sure he has his flaws...but everyone does...that's because we are humans... :) hahaha....

puss puss p... just think how wonderful it could be...if it was just you and me... :)